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<title>Nixon's Goes On an Adventure With the Guys and Fucking Dies by oolongteawithpudding</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675746">Nixon's Goes On an Adventure With the Guys and Fucking Dies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oolongteawithpudding/pseuds/oolongteawithpudding'>oolongteawithpudding</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Long Nipples, M/M, milk ;), sexy helicopter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:15:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oolongteawithpudding/pseuds/oolongteawithpudding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>-Nixon<br/>-Erotic<br/>-Sexy Watergate?<br/>-SWAT team (stands for Sexy Womb Attack Titans)<br/>-Toupee</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Richard Nixon/SWAT team</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nixon's Goes On an Adventure With the Guys and Fucking Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richard stood in his office, watching the tapes unroll from his fingers. Lost, all lost… he shed a single tear. He couldn’t believe his own country was turning against his sexy, sexy imperialist desires. Oh man, the way he tried to take over other countries? Gorgeous. He smirked down at his hands, the sexy long anime hands that had almost had everything in their clutches. What would become of everything now? He stroked his long fingers in agony, thinking, “What could I have done?”<br/>
SUDDENLY, THE WINDOWS FUCKIN BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then a bunch of dudes swung in from sexy ropes, clad in nothing but the government’s finest bikini armor. Nixon’s police and military uniform changes had definitely raised a few eyebrows in congress, but they also were raising something else ;). No sooner had Nixon’s boner showed up to the party then the Sexy SWATmen landed on his desk, long hair flowing sexily. The head SWATman was a man with rippling muscles and long nipples, his pecs tensing in the breeze. “B...baka????!” cried the defiled president. The SWATman grinned; his nipples weren’t the only thing that was long, and he brandished his penis before the president, phallus flopping about eagerly. Suddenly, everyone started jerking off from just being in the presence of so many long nipples and penises. Nixon’s rubbery dick seemed to move about with its own free will, squashing his lamp. “Damn, I liked that lamp,” the distraught president said as his dick went about its spree of destruction. But, his detached phallus was the least of their problems. He was surrounded by SWATmen, their nipples getting longer each second. Suddenly, he remembered… executive order 6969, which ordered swat teams to be injected with steroids in the nip. LAUNCH THE STEROID DRONES, the president called out in a last ditch effort to stop the SWATmen from filling the entire room with their long, long, nipples. Unfortunately, his plan backfired and the drones attacked everyone including themselves and self-destructed. Ripped clothes, errant penises, and burning metal filled the room as Richard desperately tried to find an exit, circling the oval floor. But, the SWATmen were too quick for him. They put him in erotic fuzzy handcuffs and carried him off to the helicopter. Richard moaned at the sensation of faux fur caressing his wrists and the feeling of the breeze on his balding head. He couldn’t believe he’d managed to escape, even if not in the way he originally intended. Even though he’d lost his penis back there, his nipples were alive with sensation. The SWATmen’s long nips continued to wiggle in the wind as they drove the helicopter. Richard swooned at the talent of the mens’ nipples and his toupee fell off. Down, down it fell out of the helicopter, like a delicate feather down to earth. He was perfectly naked in front of his henchmen, their prehensile nipples already getting to work stroking his bald spot- and his special dry spot. His head-skin flapped excitedly as it was patted by the many milk-makers which squirted lovingly onto his head. “Bathe me,” he smirked delightedly as he reveled in the creamy milk. “You will rejuvinate this treasonous president, yessss…” The nipples, encouraged, released their bounty with more vigour than before, coating the grateful president in lecherous milk. Suddenly, the nipple-steerer gasped, realizing they were about to crash back into the white house. He commanded his nipples to take a sharp left, nearly averting the burning oval office. As the ‘copter turned, Nixon felt himself slide against the slippery ooze beneath him. Suddenly, he lost his footing and slipped right out of the helicopter, falling quickly down to the earth like his toupee had gently before him, however, this was no gentle fall, and Nixon and the ground do not mix, and he was turned into a smattering of his former self, sexy till the very end.</p>
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